Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
