I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize