theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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