Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize