He kissed a someone with a penis
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
