How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
