I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
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This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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