Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize