i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
