I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
