somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Two words: blizzard sex
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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