then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
