dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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