We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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