I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
