Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
