We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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