Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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