Where did you get a picture of my penis
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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