Got a toothbrush?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize