He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
