$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
