oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
