We're like a lot better than the average bears
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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