he wants to bone in the snuggie
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i think i have two assholes
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
