you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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