is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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