3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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