i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
