i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
should my penis look like a turkey
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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