It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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