I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
