this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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