i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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