What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
