Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
