my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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