Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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