you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Are we still banned from the library?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
