I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
