Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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