the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
