No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
