At least make sure they are 18
Why
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
