I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
