remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My friends, they love my intelligence
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
