i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
