people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
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When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
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Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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