Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize