in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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