id be glad to
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
