Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
