Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.