Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
