my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
The ass gains better be worth it
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