I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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