Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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